Why might my good feelings not last after an EFT breakthrough?
Stefan Gonick, Expert EFT Practitioner, Trainer and Love Coach
(Add or view comments at the bottom of the page.)
I had a client a while back who had heard about the effectivness of EFT and called me to set up an appointment. He was a very unhappy person and hoped that EFT would be the answer to his problems. In our first session, I taught him how to do the basic tapping process, and we discussed the roots to his unhappiness. In the second session, we identified one of his key early experiences contributing to his current unhappiness and completely cleared all of the pain from that experience using EFT. He left the session feeling very good and excited about the future. Four days later he called me and said that his good feelings only lasted for three days, and he was feeling discouraged. Maybe this EFT thing wasn't so great after all. I explained to him why his good feelings didn't last and thought that my explanation might be helpful to others.
Good Feelings Generally Do Last
First of all, let me say that many people do experience their good feelings lasting after having an EFT breakthrough. They no longer feel plagued by the issue they addressed and are excited and encouraged by the effectiveness of EFT. This leads to a feeling of lightness in their lives and hopefulness about the future.
However, some people have a different experience. Like my client's experience above, they will feel much better for a few days, but then the good feelings will "wear off" and they will go back to feeling pretty much as bad as they did before, maybe slightly better. What is happening in this situation?
There are a number of possible explanations for this phenomenon that can apply to a given individual. We will start by discussing the most common and simplest reason for good feelings not lasting. After that, we will talk about some of the more subtle reasons.
There May Be Multiple Sources of the Bad Feelings
Let's say, for instance, that you have 10 big issues causing you to feel bad in your life. If one issue is resolved using EFT, you may temporarily feel much better from the success and from relief from that issue. However, there are still 9 big issues left contributing to you feeling bad! Those remaining issues may cause you to fall back into feeling pretty much as bad as before (though if you check within closely, you may notice feeling a little better than before). This can be very discouraging, and some people quit at this point, mistakenly thinking that EFT is not working for them.
If this is you, don't lose hope! EFT has worked and your life has improved in that area. You just need to persevere and continue to clear the remaining 9 issues. As you clear more and more of the issues, you will keep feeling better and better.
We will now discuss some of the more subtle reasons for good feelings not lasting in spite of having an EFT "breakthrough."
There May Be a "Problem" with Feeling Good
One possibility is that the person may have an issue with feeling good itself. For instance, some people have the negative belief/expectation that if they let themselves feel good, something bad will happen. The "other shoe will drop." They may have had a number of significant experiences growing up where something very bad happened right after feeling particularly good. Alternatively, their parent(s) may have expressed that type of belief over and over again until the child absorbed the same expectation.
This fear/negative expectation would have to be cleared before it would feel "safe" to feel good. If there were specific experiences of something bad happening after feeling good, then those memories would need to be cleared using EFT. The "Tell the Story Technique" would be helpful here to clear those memories (search for that phrase on the main EFT web site).
Once the memories have been cleared, it may still be necessary to clear the fearful expection that something bad will happen if I let myself feel good:
"Even though I'm afraid that something bad will happen if I feel good..."
This same phrase could also be used to shift the negative belief/expectation that was absorbed from one's parents. Once this fear/belief has been cleared, it will now feel safe to feel good. Could this be another EFT breakthrough? Life would certainly feel different once a belief like that has been changed.
General Issues Interfering with Feeling Good
There may be other reasons why it's not okay to feel good. For instance, a person may feel "unworthy" of feeling good. Another person may believe that feeling good leads to not accomplishing anything. "I'll just be a blissful slug." There are many possible reasons why a person may have an issue with feeling good. Once the reason is identified, it can be cleared in the same way as above using EFT. Original experiences will need to be identified and then cleared with EFT.
There is a Hidden Investment in Feeling Bad
Another relatively common explanation for why the good feelings may not last is the issue of "secondary gain." Secondary gain would be involved if there is a hidden benefit to feeling bad. For example, a person may get a lot of sympathy from friends and family for feeling bad. This person may not be very good at having connections with others in any other way. Subconsciously then, the person would be reluctant to give up that source of sympathy (connection) and go back to feeling bad.
When secondary gain (hidden benefits) are involved, they can be tapped on to release them:
"Even though I will lose their sympathy if I feel good..."
In the case of a secondary gain, it is sometimes sufficient to tap on the negative side of the hidden benefit as in the example above. Other times, EFT will have to be applied to the specific original experiences that culminated in the hidden benefit. In this particular example, it could also be helpful to learn new, more healthy ways to connect with people rather than relying on sympathy. Once the hidden benefit has been addressed, the good feelings will come naturally.
It is my greatest hope that this article has helped you understand and give you a better perspective as to why bad feelings might return after an EFT breakthrough. It's understandable to get discouraged, but hang in there. Take hope from each success. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Persevere with EFT and joy is indeed possible for you.
Hugs to all,
View All Articles by this Author
Stefan Gonick, EFT Practitioner, Trainer, and Love Coach, has been helping people with their emotional healing and love relationships for 15 years with great success.
If you are interested in learning more about EFT, a powerful tool for rapidly releasing negative emotions, check out his web site at EFT Tapping Therapy.
If you would like to learn about blocks to finding love and how to find your soulmate, get your FREE Finding the Love You Want Mini e-Course at FindingTheLoveYouWant.com.
Leave a Comment
Disclaimer: All information on this website is for educational purposes only, and the content is not intended to suggest that it is a
substitute for proper medical care or good common sense.
While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage
and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it.
In addition, the articles on this site represent the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the
founder of EFT, Gary Craig, nor the owner of this web site, Stefan Gonick.