Grieving Made Gentler with Gestalt-Inspired Tapping

Respectful Peaceful Tapping

By Suzanne Zacharia

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Grieving takes many forms.  There is grieving for loss, abandonment feelings, anger, sadness, guilt, not being able to make peace with the deceased, unfairness, and many more emotions.  Of course, there is a level of grief which is normal and EFT does not tap that away.  The beauty of tapping is that it respectfully relieves the excess negative emotion. 

I find one of the gentlest ways to go through the process is like this. There is no need for SUDS (numbers).

   1. Sit in a chair and have a chair in front of you.
   2. Tap on the collarbone continuously and keep tapping.
   3. Close your eyes.
   4. Imagine the deceased in the chair sitting opposite you.  They cannot speak.
   5. Now for two minutes, tell them whatever first comes to your mind to say as you conitinue to tap on the collarbone continuously.
   6. Then switch.  Keep tapping on the collarbone continuously as you give the imaginary deceased in front of you 2 minutes to answer.
   7. Now they go silent again, and it's your turn. Say whatever comes to your mind for two minutes as you tap continuously on the collarbone.
   8. Switch again for two minutes.
   9. Keep going back and forth like this for about 20 minutes.
  10. Now tap on all the EFT points you usually use, one after the other as you say goodbye to them for now for a minute.
  11. Now tap on all the EFT points you usually use, as you imagine sending peace to the situation as a healing light from your heart.  Imagine peace going through you, as you feel peace.
  12. Have a rest, replenish your energy, and relax.

Wishing you peace on your healing journey.


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Author's Bio:

© Suzanne Zacharia 2010.  My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the more and better options one has, the more choice there is. 

A virus caught along with 5 other students at university at the end of 1986, plus medical negligence, meant that I got smokers lung at a relatively young age.  In desperation for help with my symptoms and quality of life, I turned to complementary therapy, and I have outlived one doctor's prognosis by many years now.

I am now a complementary therapist, author and trainer specializing in energy healing.  Want to use this article?  You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE book "EFT How-To For You" at http://www.EFT-Scripts.com




Maria Annell
Posted April 10, 2010 06:00 PM

Thank you, Suzanne, for this amazingly simple and very gentle procedure! I will suggest it to people I work with who have challenges with grief... What would your advice be to use it in a client-therapist setting?

Cheers from France,

: ) Maria


Posted April 10, 2010 11:54 PM

Hi Maria,

I do exactly the same in client sessions, except that I usually tap on the client.

I put a chair in front of them and ask them to close their eyes and imagine [loved one] is sitting there.

Even though is usually unnecessary. I hold the client's hand and tap the instruction on the KC: "Now as I tap on all your points, I want you to imagine [loved one] in front of you and imagine what s/he is saying as I tap silently for about 2 minutes" This does the PR thing.

I watch my watch or clock carefully, adhering to the promised time, so the client feels safe and secure. I start with 2 mins for a while and reduce it to 1 after a few rounds. I may keep hold of the client's hand or I may gently place it in their lap, and I tap on Top of the Head and whatever other points I can access easily.

I make sure tissues are easily within reach and when they start crying, place a few tissues in their hand. I might say comforting words like "stay with me, you're doing fine".

I wrap it up at the end by asking them to send peace and linking it to their belief system, for example "S/He is now with God" or "S/He is now no longer in pain" etc...

In some countries, you are not allowed to touch the client, but I believe in France you are.

Do let me know how you get on :-)


Posted April 11, 2010 12:05 AM

PS - Avoid with clients with hearing challenges. I once did this with a client with a hearing aid who swore blind that he could hear perfectly with it. He mis-heard most of what I said and imagined that I said to forget the loved one and never feel sadness for them again and that they are now dead and gone forever and he must get over it. Of course, I did no such thing, but while his eyes were closed, he must have remembered some of the things he was told, his worst fears or something like that. He said afterwards that he was very traumatized by the experience. That was one client out of about 50+ others who successfully peacefully grieved a loved one and were very happy that they had done the session. Now I never do it with clients who are hard of hearing, no matter what reassurances they give me that they can hear just fine - just in case.


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