EFT and the 8 Money Archetypes
Alina Frank, EFTU and Matrix Trainer, EFT CERT-I
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This article is one of eight located in EFT Articles.com based on combining the 8 money archetypes by Brent Kessel and it's use with EFT. In general most people have more than one or two that they fall into as a default program with money so it's helpful to read through all 8 and determine which ones resonate most for you.
The Caregiver Archetype
Do you see yourself as generous and compassionate? Do you find that people rely on you to save them, lend them money or help them out? Does it seem that it isn't often reciprocated? Do you feel uneasy with all your giving? Do you believe that people can't make it without you or your assistance? Do you treat others better than you treat yourself? Would you feel uncomfortable if someone in your life (that you have been caretaking) suddenly stopped asking for help? Would you feel it as a loss? Do you have less than 6 months living expenses in savings due to your pattern of being too generous with friends, family, or charities? If these questions are sounding off alarm bells in your mind and body, then you probably have the Caretaker managing your money.
Similar to the #2 on the Enneagram or Caroline Myss's Caretaker, as a money Caretaker archetype you erroneously believe that others can't make it without you. Unfortunately, this often leads to the other person feeling incompetent, and incapable. You can harbor feelings of resentment, and martyrdom. Sometimes there is an underlying fear that people won't love you if they stop caretaking. There also might exist the shadow belief that in order have control or be able to manipulate a person, you need to continue caretaking behaviors. These beliefs can become very self-destructive. Another common assumption is that it's better to pay a little money now and resolve the situation than to let it go on and make matters worse. In other words you'll end up taking care of a bigger mess down the road if you don't handle things now.
I've worked with many clients with chronic fatigue that carry varying degrees of the Caretaker. It's almost as if their bodies are saying, "That's enough!" and place limits when (on a conscious level) they can't actually say "NO". When my clients begin to heal and change this pattern of interaction there might be some level of strife and resistance from partners, and family members. These significant others usually come around once they see how healthy my clients are becoming. If they don't then the challenge for my client is to come to some kind of peace about ending relationships or distancing themselves.
Using EFT to release the core issues at the heart of caretaking is absolutely the best way to end it. Was there an abusive or out-of-control parent that led you to think this way? Did you have an alcoholic in the family you needed to help or cover up for? Realizing that you need to put yourself first in relationships is the healthy, rational, and prosperous choice.
KC: Even though I am afraid that they can't succeed without me or my money, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I am afraid that they won't love me if I stop supporting them, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though if I don't give them $ now the mess I've have to clean up later on will be huge and overwhelming, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Head: I am uncomfortable saying no
Third Eye: I feel responsible if they fail
Eyebrow: I see myself as a kind and generous person
Side Eye: I want to help them, it's in my nature
Under Eye: They can't make it without me
Under Nose: They might not like me if I do cut them off
Chin: I want to be needed
Collarbone: I know they value me for what my money can do for them
Underarm: But does this really make me feel good?
Top of Head: It might lead them to doing less and less for themselves and relying on me more and more.
3rd Eye: What if they could learn to be more self sufficient because I say no?
Eyebrow: What if I begin to take more and more care of myself?
Side of Eye: I can be a role model for honoring oneself
Under Nose: I can show them how important it is to take care of oneself
Chin Point: I choose to let go of some of these irrational fears and beliefs
Collarbone: I'll be providing them with the opportunity to feel more confident and capable.
Underarm: Enabling their poor choices and bad behavior doesn't serve anyone.
Top of Head: I focus all of my attention on knowing that I am a good person and don't need to do things for others in order to find self worth or value.
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Alina Frank EFT Universe and Matrix Reimprinting Trainer. Coach and mentor at www.tapyourpower.net
EFT Business Coaching for practititioners at www.jumpstartyoureftpractice.com/eft.html
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