Carrot or stick? Which one motivates you?

By Maureen Cram, EFT therapist Level 3

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You want to lose weight.  You want more money in your life. You want less stress in your life.  You want to overcome a phobia. You want a great relationship.

Easy to say and not so easy to achieve?  Are you a stick person or a carrot person?  How do you motivate yourself?  Threats of dire outcomes if you don’t do something? Or rewards if you do do something?

How do you motivate your children (if you have any)?  Threats or promises?  No computer games for you if your room doesn’t get cleaned. An extra half hour playing your favourite game if you get your room tidied up before dinner.

How do you motivate yourself?  Telling yourself you are a bad person because you didn’t stick to your so-called diet once again? You are weak because you couldn’t stay away from that bottle of wine? You picked a ‘loser’ once again in the dating game?

If you have not achieved the results you want regarding your weight, finances, stress levels or relationships then perhaps it is time to rethink the way you motivate yourself.

So… how can meridian tapping help here?

First of all, think of how you have reacted in the past… would you rather have the carrot or the stick?

I (Maureen) am a carrot person.  I find it much easier to focus forwards. Example: maybe you want to go down a dress size.  A carrot person would find it easier to focus on the result (ahead) than the consequences if this does not happen (behind).

Once you have established that (and confirm your choice by thinking of outcomes in the past) then you are already well on the way to success.

OK… what to do next?

Example 1 – carrot

Focus on what you want to happen, your goal.  Could be ‘I want to drop a dress size in time for my sister’s wedding next month’.

So you state your affirmation out loud.  Tweak this until it sounds right for you.  Could be thus:

“It is easy for me to drop/let go of/release (whichever words sound best to you) this extra weight so I can look great for Mary’s wedding next month.”

Then listen to what you hear in your head, what are those annoying little voices telling you?

•    Who are you kidding… you can’t stay on a diet for more than three days
•    Left it rather late to do this haven’t you?  You should have started three months ago and not left it so late.
•    When was the last time you tried to do this and what happened?  Nothing – you don’t have the will power to do this, you’re a loser.

Wonderful little voices aren’t they?  So, instead of ignoring them as you have tried to do in the past, you bring them on board.

Using the Karate Chop point, say the following set ups (according to what your specific voices said, don’t rely on what I have written here, that’s just a guideline).

For example…

•    Even though those little voices in my head are telling me I can never stick to anything, I accept myself anyway.
•    Even though those voices are telling me that I should have started this before, I accept myself anyway. Or
•    Even though those voices in my head are telling me I’m a loser, I accept myself where I am right now.

Just choose to say whatever relates to your voices.  I have given three examples here but to begin with, just stick to the one that shouts the loudest and say that three times. 

After the set-ups, do the reminder points as per the standard EFT tapping protocol.

Then check the voices again by saying your statement out loud.  Have the voices changed?  Are they softer?  Have they changed their tune?

Tap again on what you now hear… then say the statement again and then check the voices.  Continue to do this until the voices have disappeared.  Then you can tap in the now positive affirmation using the standard protocol and you are on your way to fitting into that dress!

Example 2 – stick

OK… so you need the thought of the dire consequences to get you moving!  No problem.

Use the same procedure… find yourself an affirming statement to say out loud that expresses how you feel.  Example. That wedding again.  Let’s say your stick incentive is ‘I have to drop at least one dress size for my sister’s wedding or my other sisters will be all over me telling me how fat I am.  I can’t bear the thought of them doing that.

So your statement might be along these lines:

“I really have to drop some weight for Mary’s wedding – I can’t turn up looking fat again”.

Voices:

•    Yeah right… and how do you think you are going to do it this time?  Will power never worked before
•    It’s impossible.  You’ll never do it in time – if you ever do it.
•    You said that last year before your brother’s wedding and you couldn’t do it.  You just keep on getting fatter and fatter.

So, instead of ignoring them as you have tried to do in the past, you bring them on board.

Using the Karate Chop point, say the following set ups (according to what your specific voices said, don’t rely on what I have written here, that’s just a guideline).

For example…

•    Even though those little voices in my head are telling me will power doesn’t work, I accept myself anyway.
•    Even though those voices are telling me that it’s impossible, I accept myself anyway. Or
•    Even though those voices in my head are telling me I just keep on getting fatter and fatter, I accept myself where I am right now.

Then do exactly as stated for the carrot situation and tap on what you are hearing.  Then do the reminders as written above.  Check as before…

You might well find that after you have sorted out the voices, you will be able to restate your intention affirmation statement into something more positive, more goal-oriented.  You might then say:

‘I have to drop some weight for Mary’s wedding and it is safe and easy for me to do it’.  Then you just tap that positive statement in using the standard tapping methods.

Happy tapping!

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Author's Bio:

Maureen is a surrogate animal intuitive and energy therapist who uses EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and meridian tapping techniques to help any animal in need.

She is a business owner, cat lover (she and her husband live in South Africa with five rescued cats), educator on the benefits of energy therapy and a certified Matrix Reimprinting therapist. She specializes in helping animals from birds to whales (and anything in between!) as well as helping women of all ages with eating, weight and menopause issues.

To find out more about how Maureen can help you and or your animals, please visit http://www.stuffbusters.co.za

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While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it.

In addition, the articles on this site represent the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the founder of EFT, Gary Craig, nor the owner of this web site, Stefan Gonick.