Picking Effective EFT Tapping Phrases

What to do when you can't figure out what to say while tapping...

By Stefan Gonick, Expert EFT Practioner, Trainer and Love Coach

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When first learning EFT, one of the most common questions is "what words do I use for the reminder (problem) phrase"? I know that this was confusing for me when I was first learning. There are a number of elements to coming up with good tapping phrases, but I would like to share a key principle with you that will help make selecting good tapping phrases much easier.

The first thing that we hear about when picking reminder phrases is to be as specific as possible. This is very true but as specific as possible about what? The most common mistake that I find that people make is to pick a reminder phrase that describes their problem as a concept rather than their direct experience of the problem.


"The cause of all negative emotions is a disturbance in our body's energy system."

The purpose of the reminder phrase is to help activate the energy disturbance so that we can clear it out through tapping. We do this by getting clearly in touch with our experience of the problem.

For instance, let's say that your problem is that you procrastinate. New tappers might be tempted to say:

"Even though I procrastinate, I deeply and profoundly accept myself."

The problem with the phrase "I procrastinate" is that it is a mental concept; it is not your actual experience of your procrastination problem. So, what is your experience of procrastinating?

The easiest way to get in touch with this is to think about some task about which you are procrastinating. You will probably feel some kind of aversion to doing that task with an accompanying sensation in your body. The body sensation may be something like a tightness in your stomach or chest. Your aversion and bodily sensations are your initial experience of the problem.

Now, let's get more specific. What is your experience of the aversion specifically about? You tune into your aversion and bodily sensations and wait to see what comes up for you. Eventually, you get in touch with feeling afraid that you might not do the task perfectly, so you are having an aversion to getting started.

A possible tapping phrase could now be:

"Even though I am afraid to start because I might not do it perfectly"

Do you see how this is very different from: "Even though I procrastinate"? The prior phrase describes your actual experience of the problem. The second one describes your problem as a mental concept.

Descriptions of your experience of a problem will tend to include bodily sensations, emotions and thoughts/beliefs related to the emotions, as in our example above. If you use this principle of describing your experience of your problem rather than the concept of it, you'll find that you will come up with much more effective tapping phrases.

Going Deeper

Now, in the procrastination example, you may want to delve deeper. Why is doing something imperfectly a painful prospect? What early experiences led to this feeling? Ideally, you will want to tap on those painful memories to really heal this issue. (I cover how to work with painful memories in my newsletter.)

Hugs to all,

Note: Procrastination can actually be a complex issue. We just looked at one common potential source of procrastination for this example. There can be many others as well.


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Author's Bio:

Stefan Gonick, EFT Practitioner, Trainer, and Love Coach, has been helping people with their emotional healing and love relationships for 15 years with great success.

If you are interested in learning more about EFT, a powerful tool for rapidly releasing negative emotions, check out his web site at EFT Tapping Therapy.

If you would like to learn about blocks to finding love and how to find your soulmate, get your FREE Finding the Love You Want Mini e-Course at FindingTheLoveYouWant.com.


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Disclaimer: All information on this website is for educational purposes only, and the content is not intended to suggest that it is a substitute for proper medical care or good common sense.

While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it.

In addition, the articles on this site represent the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the founder of EFT, Gary Craig, nor the owner of this web site, Stefan Gonick.

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