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EFT and fear of Public Speaking

Letting go of an old fear

By Jessie Diane Wyatt, EFT-CERT I, EFT-ADV, B.S. Holistic Health

(Add or view comments at the bottom of the page.)

 

Names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of client

When Christy came to see me for her fear of Public Speaking, I was eager to introduce her to EFT.  After only a few minutes of talking with this client I knew she had a strong desire to teach and share her knowledge - the only thing holding her back was her fear.  Christy is a Holistic Practitioner and was asked to teach a class on Aromatherapy – at first she said no because of her fear of public speaking but then she decided that after all these years she was ready to try to overcome this fear.

I started with a typical EFT detective question and asked Christy if she could remember when she first noticed this fear – was there a childhood or young adult memory?   She knew clearly when it all started - she was in the 9th grade and had to give a speech for her final grade in English.  I asked her to pretend this was a scene of a movie, and to tell me the story about the speech, in a detailed manner. 

Christy told me that she had prepared for weeks, practiced her speech over and over again and had it completely memorized.  She was very nervous that day, but started off the speech well.  About a third the way into it, she completely forgot her speech.  She was so distressed and nervous that she started to cry. Somehow she got through reading the remaining speech but she was crying the whole time.  She walked back to her seat and could not stop crying. Because of that culmination of all that effort and her nerves, she was overwrought with emotion and distress.  She felt like a total failure.  The rest of the room was quiet and everyone felt awkward.

After she told me the story, we identified what she was still feeling today.  She still felt the humiliation, embarrassment, and failure, so we started with tapping on those emotions surrounding the event. 

“Even though I still feel embarrassed when I think back on that speech,

I deeply and completely love and accept myself” 

“Even though I cringe when I think of that speech and it’s made me avoid all public speaking ever since, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  And I forgive that young girl for messing up that speech.

“Even though I still feel embarrassed and humiliated and like a failure when I think back on that speech and crying in front of everyone, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” 

We then tapped on all the sequence points repeating the problem of being embarrassed and humiliated

Christy’s intensity level went down, but there was still al lot more tapping needed.  We went through the story several times and just kept tapping on those emotions

“Even though I’m still mortified when I think back to that incident where I got stage fright and actually cried in front of my class mates, who I wanted to look cool in front of, I still deeply and completely accept myself, and I forgive myself for forgetting the speech, after all I was just a young woman and nervous, everyone else was nervous too” 

When those emotions subsided, I asked her what else she was feeling; she felt a terrible sadness for that young girl who had tried so hard and failed.  So we tapped on that.

And then for the emotional issue of how that one event has held Christy back for the rest of her life. The impact that has had on her and how sad that is.

I was certain we’d gotten to a core issue but felt there was still more work to do

In our next session, I had her get up in front of me and do a little “public speaking”.  I asked her to tell me, teach me about aromatherapy.

What came out was that she wasn’t sure if she was worthy of sharing information to a group. She didn’t know if she was good enough, or if she’d be interesting.  She thought she might be boring.

We tapped on the issue surrounding:

What makes me think I can do this?

What makes me think that people will listen to me, be interested in what I say

As we talked, we uncovered another core issue. Christy had always been the quiet one in family.  Her very dynamic brothers always dominated the conversations and got the attention.  So, we tapped on some particular memories she had where her brothers were “center stage” and she kind of disappeared into the background.

As we continued to tap on all of these specific events (‘table legs”), slowly the issue of not being good enough to teach started to collapse.  As the table legs (events) started to collapse, she noticed her confidence increasing. This didn’t happen after one session, but after a few sessions.

Christy reported to me that she was starting to feel “lighter”, better, she even said – well why shouldn’t I teach – I’m certainly qualified and I have a degree in it!  I know much more than most people when it comes to Aromatherapy. Heck some people haven’t even heard of essential oils.  She was joking with me and that showed true confidence in herself.

I always finish with a round of positive tapping, so we went through the points tapping.

 

Teaching and helping others comes naturally to me

I am excited about sharing my knowledge with others

I can help people to heal using aromatherapy

It’s easy for me to communicate my knowledge

Everyday I am learning to appreciate myself more

I am choosing to enjoy life

I’m choosing to be happy and to accept myself

I am choosing to feel relaxed and calm

I am on a wonderful journey towards complete healing

I gave her one final tip.  I suggested she arrive early to the location where her first workshop was to be held. I recommended that she get fully set up, and then spend some time tapping on any remaining anxiety.  I provided her with a few scripts for tapping right at that time – right before the event.

Christy held the workshop, and reported back to me that she was slightly nervous but kept tapping before her students arrived.  She told me that she actually enjoyed the event, got wonderful feedback and she said to me “I did it” I’m going to schedule another one!  It was kind of fun having people looking to me for my expertise!”


 

Author's Bio:

Jessie Diane Wyatt

EFT - CERT I, EFT-ADV

B.S. Holistic Health

My education in Holistic Health and training in EFT, combined with my own personal experience of dealing with physical pain and self-growth, all provide me with the background and compassion to support others in their quest for Wellness. I enjoy helping people – whether they’re struggling with an emotional or physical issue, as well as those people simply interested in making some positive changes in their life.

 

2 Comments

 

chris
Posted July 04, 2010 12:41 PM

Thank you I to have found it very hard to stand up and talk about my work i am an holistic therapist but have not got very far with it i think it is because of my age i am in my 60s but i love helping people i have quailified for EFT with Karl Dawson so once again thank you

 

Edith Howell
Posted July 06, 2010 04:03 PM

Thanks for your article, the fear of public speaking is so common,
I imagine that a lot of people will be tapping with your EFT phrases.
You said; "It's made me avoid all public speaking ever since" and this is so true, people will avoid promoting themselves and will miss opportunities for advancement because of this fear. Thanks again!
Edith Howell

 

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