EFT Can Help Heal Your Father's Rejection of You

By Edith and Patrick Howell, EFT CERT-1, EFT-ADV

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If you are a parent, you know how important your role is in the lives of your children, because the way your children perceive you will affect their whole life.  Are you a loving dad?  If your children always feel supported by you, they will feel free to call you whenever they need to talk to someone. 

But if you are always angry, stressed out, overwhelmed or violent, your kids will be frightened by you.  And the minute you come home, they go into hiding.  Of course, when they grow up, they will run away from your home as soon as they can and might even live on the other side of the world.  Just because you did not build a loving and respectful relationship with your children.

Maybe by now, you are thinking about your parenting style.  Maybe, you are remembering your own childhood experience.  How was your relationship with your dad?

  • Did you feel safe and protected when he was around?
  • Were you happy when your dad arrived from work?
  • Was your dad physically present at home, but emotionally absent?
  • Did your dad hug you?
  • Did your dad wipe your tears when you were hurting?
  • Did your dad show compassion for you?
  • Did your dad validate you?
  • Did your dad approve of you?
  • Did your dad abandon you?
  • Did your dad reject you?

For this EFT exercise, I am using the "Father Figure" but you can replace the word father for mother or for the name of the person who raised you.

Furthermore, I want you to know that it is very important to heal your unresolved childhood emotional issues because they affect your adult physical and emotional health.  You are here to love yourself and enjoy a happy life, but you won't be able to be happy if you are suffering illness or you are walking around in life feeling rejected.

What can happen if you don't heal your experience of being rejected?  You will attract more of the same energy of rejection into your life, (and that includes love, friendships, career, everything)

Setting the Intention to Heal:

Tap 7-10 times on your karate chop point (side of hand) or on your favorite point and say:

My intention is to heal the pain of being rejected by my own father (or mother)

When you think about growing up with your dad or your mom, what emotion do you feel?  Do you feel sadness?  Do you feel anger? Do you feel disappointment?  Where do you feel that emotion in your body?  You might feel the emotion in your chest, your tummy, etc.

Rate the intensity of your emotion on a scale of 0-10 (SUDS Rating Subjective Units of Distress)

10 meaning - your highest intensity (I feel terrible)

0 meaning - no intensity at all (I feel happy)

While tapping the karate chop point of either hand (7-10 times) Repeat the following EFT Phrases aloud:

EFT Set Up Phrases:

Even though my father rejected me, he never wanted to do anything with me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though I feel so hurt because my dad never cared about me, he still doesn't care, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though my dad never approved of me, he really rejected me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I accept that this is true in my family

Even though I feel rejected by my dad, he never did anything special for me, I deeply accept myself and maybe I can be open to forgiving him

Now tap on the following energy points while repeating your negative reminder phrases: (Use 2 or 3 fingers of one hand to tap on the energy points)

Crown of head: My dad rejected me

Beginning of eyebrow:  He never wanted to do anything with me

Side of eye: My dad rejected me

Under eye:  I feel so hurt

Under nose:  My dad never cared about me

Under mouth:  This rejection

Collarbone: My dad never approved of me

Under arm:  My  dad doesn't aprove of me even now

Crown of head:  My dad really rejected me!

Beginning of eyebrow:  I am so hurt!

Side of eye:  I feel rejected

Under eye:  My dad rejected me

Under nose:  He still does!

Under mouth: My dad never did anything special for me

Collarbone:  My dad ignored me

Under arm: My father didn't care for me

Crown of head:  All this pain in my heart!

Take a deep breath and release all the ways you felt rejected by your father.  Release them from your mind and body!

How do you feel?

Rate your emotional intensity level on a scale of 0-10, do several rounds until your intensity is down to zero.

Now Tap Reframing on each of the following energy points:

Crown of head:  I think that is just the way he was

Beginning of eyebrow:  It was typical of him

Side of eye:  All families have issues

Under eye:  I cannot change my dad

Under nose:  I can only change me

Under mouth:  so from now on, I  am approving of myself!

Collalrbone:  I am welcoming myself

Under arm:  I am accepting myself just the way I am

Crown of head:  Maybe my dad was raised the same way

Beginning of eyebrow: Maybe he thought that that was the right way to raise a child

Side of eye:  Maybe he really didn't know any better

Under eye:  Maybe he was doing the best he knew how

Under nose:  Given his own resources

Under mouth: and his own limitations

Collarbone: I recognize now that changes begins with me!

Under arm:  I am willing to love myself and to do special things for me!

Crown of head:  I am willing to accept and treat myself like an honored guest!

Take a deep breath and relax your mind and body.

"Gratitude Process"

Place your hand on the middle of your chest (your heart center) and tap while repeating aloud:

(Remember that we want to establish a connection between our mind and our heart because we want to live a heart centered life!

I am grateful because I approve of myself

I am grateful because I love and accept myself just the way I am

I am grateful because I am the one who is willing to change and do things in a different way

I am grateful because I know that I am magnificent

I am grateful because I am doing special things for me!

I am grateful because I am treating myself like an honored guest!

I am grateful because I am willing to forgive my father.


Thanks for reading my article: "EFT Can Help Heal Your Father's Rejection of You."


View All Articles by this Author


Author's Bio:

I am Edith Howell, I am an EFT Practtiioner Certified by Gary Craig, The Creator of EFT.  Plus I am  adding my gift of intuition and all the lessons learned the hard way while dealing with an incurable disease.

I specialize in working with people who are suffering the devastating effects of CFS/M.E. and a traumatic childhood.  I help them clear their emotional pain and trauma so they can heal their heart and their body, learn to love themselves unconditionally, have more energy, joy, and peace and be fully alive. 

You can receive a free Ebook at:  http://www.eftmindandbody.com

Basic EFT Instructions and 7 days of Introductory EFT Exercises to Reduce Stress and Clear Blocks to Success (Also for CFS/M.E.)




Lena Lapinska
Posted February 14, 2014 10:38 PM

Thanks so much as I've worked on this previously but got great results today!


Edith Howell
Posted February 16, 2014 10:47 AM

Hi Lena:

I am so happy that this EFT exercise helped you with rejection that you experienced in your childhood. The deeper you go in your own healing, the easier it will be to live your life from a place of joy, confidence and unconditional love for yourself.

Much love,

Edith Howell, EFT Certified Practitioner


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