Fear of Public Speaking - Dee, Large Presentations
Dee's Case Study - Part 2 of 2
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“Dee” came to me for fear of public speaking. This turned out to involve many aspects, a great deal of psychological reversal, and blocked past memories. Big meetings were a big problem for Dee, and the road to success was not an easy one at first.
To start our “Big Meeting” release, I asked Dee to come up with one specific meeting to work on. This one was the meeting the previous Friday, which we called the “Friday Big Meeting”. It was conducted in a “whole room” of 20-30 people, and Dee gave me a rating of 10 out of 10 for it if she were to watch it on a TV screen. After tapping for this for a couple of rounds, we were still at a 10 out of 10.
Now I know from experience that nobody suddenly gets a fear of presentations. It builds up over time, often going as far back as childhood, especially something like reading out to the class at school. So I asked Dee for an incident before this one, going back further in time, maybe back to the source. She said she used to be fine giving presentations, then there was a big one when she was nine months pregnant, where she had to abandon speaking. We called it the “9 Months Pregnant Meeting” and Dee rated it a 10 out of 10. After a couple of rounds on “this 9 Months Pregnant Meeting, it remained a 10.
We tapped on root causes in the most recent past, and then the pain of the experience became a pain in her back. We chased the pain as it went further down her back. This pain was very debilitating., so we tapped quickly, tapping on all aspects I could think of, until it finally subsided.
This session was challenging, as I found us going in directions that Dee had specifically said at the beginning that she did not want to go. We brought the “9 Months Pregnant Meeting” down to a 6, but Dee had a healing crisis the next day.
The next session was also challenging, since we moved very slowly, in order to make it a gentler session. Since this was the first event that we had, I asked if it was OK to work again on the “9 Months Pregnant Meeting”, and Dee was OK with that. This time, I stuck to tapping for this meeting and its various aspects, such as a feeling in the heart, solar plexus, and a breathing discomfort. This meeting had crept up to an 8, and shouting out the Setup and chasing the pain brought the event gently and slowly, bit by bit, down to a 6.5. At this point, finally, we had a breakthrough. Dee remembered a previous big meeting, the first big meeting at this job, some years back. I wanted to move away from the “9 Months Pregnant Meeting”, so that we do not get any aspects coming up that were not appropriate at the time. So I took the opportunity to go to this older meeting. We gently tapped on this meeting, chasing the pain as it went from a 10 to a 9.9, finally finishing at a 9.5.
At many points in this session, I asked Dee in various different ways about childhood root causes, and she said she could not remember any, nothing like that had happened to her at school. I mentioned that other clients have reported fear reading out in class, feeling inadequate answering a teacher's question, or being laughed at by classmates. But no, there was no such thing. She did say however, that the avenues we went down last time did not feel like they were the cause of the issue, so I did not ask about any root causes in the near past. However, she could not attribute the issue to anything in the more distant past. I chose not to worry about a faster result, in case we uncover anything that we were not ready for. The SUDS were going down, even if by decimals, and Dee was physically visibly and audibly releasing throughout this session. In other words, even though the SUDS were not going down by much, there was a big energy shifting throughout.
I gave Dee homework and made the next appointment.
Before the fifth appointment, I re-read my notes several times looking for clues. I found it interesting that although Dee started off not remembering any presentation-type situation before the “9 Months Pregnant Meeting”, just such a meeting emerged at the end of the last session. I was still not convinced this was the one we were looking for. It was as if it felt unsafe to go further back in remembering. In other words, when we had worked sufficiently on the more recent big meeting, removing some of the emotional blocks, it then became safe for the first big meeting in Dee's current job to emerge. But this reduced very incrementally. This suggested one or both of two things to me:
Dee was for some reason very seriously reversed about big meetings.
Dee's mind had blocked out the earlier incidents in her life because they were too scary to remember.
I decided to muscle-test for reversal and root causes in the next session. Dee had already been to a hypnotherapist for 8 sessions with no change whatsoever. She had already been to a psychotherapist for the other issues. She had made it very clear at the beginning that she only wanted to do EFT, and only on the presentations. I was worried how she might react to the suggestion of muscle-testing. But I felt very strongly that if I showed Dee that she was reversed about big meetings, this in itself would give her impetus to allow change. After all, she wanted to be the “best of the best”. So I tapped for my feelings about it:
“Even though I need to show Dee a better result soon, ...”
“Even though I don't know how she'll react to the suggestion of muscle-testing, ...”
“Even though I have to deliver, ...”
Then I tapped silently on all the points as I thought out a plan.
Because of all this tapping on myself, at the start of the next session, I was so relaxed and my mind was so sharp, we started in a particularly jovial mood, laughing and breaking the ice feeling full of energy. We made plans for Dee to attend the next EFT workshop I was running. I took my time explaining to her why I wanted her to attend, that she could relax and work on others' issues too, that there were breaks, some theory, so she could take it easy as well as be in the perfect situation for all the aspects to surface. Dee said to me that she too had been thinking since the last session, and although she could not remember the incident, she vaguely connected it to wearing a white shirt and a navy blue skirt, which meant that she would have been at high school. She could not remember more than that. And earlier on the day of this appointment, she had had a big meeting, which was a 10.
We started to tap:
“Even though I have Today's Meeting feeling, ...”
“Even though it may have something to do with wearing a white shirt and navy blue skirt, ...”
After a few rounds and again much visible and audible release, we got down to a 9. In-between the rounds, Dee asked me to show her if there were any EFT points on the foot. I said that I was sure many of the reflexology points would work just fine, but I knew only about the points on the legs. I showed her the Ankle points, and I also showed her the points just below the knee shown in the Beyond The Basics DVDs. I cannot say whether the introduction of these points made a difference. Personally, I think it was the change in my energy. In the last two sessions, I was skirting around Dee's fear, letting it control the session. In this session, instead of letting Dee's fear control our session, I was taking control, because I had tapped so thoroughly before the session. When we reached the 9, I introduced the idea of muscle-testing. Dee had never heard of it, and I shared with her my first experience of muscle-testing and how surprised I was when my arm went down. I also told her the story of how I demonstrated muscle-testing to a group of friends once with a lovely woman whom I could have sworn was a red-head, only to find that she was not; one of my life's most cringe-worthy moments! We both laughed at this, and then Dee lay down and we started the calibration and testing. I used Dee's arm, and got a reliable muscle to use. Dee was not reversed in general.
The first test was whilst Dee said:
“I want to get over this”
The arm went weak.
Then we tested:
“I don't want to get over this”
The arm went strong.
Dee was naturally very surprised by this information, and I explained to her more about reversal. I asked her if I could tap on her, and so I tapped on the Top of Head and the Ankle points plus the points just under the knees. We tapped things like:
“Even though I don't really want to get over this, ...”
“Even though my energy is protecting me from getting over this, ...”
Every now and then, I added:
“Something to do with wearing a white shirt and navy blue skirt”
Dee was releasing big time, relaxing so much she looked ready to go to bed and fall asleep. We had a moment's rest, then tested again. The results were the right way round this time. Dee was again surprised, and I think it gave her great hope.
Next, I tested a statement from the Allergy Antidotes system:
“I am alive”
Dee's arm went weak.
Dee said she actually was not surprised at this result. She said that since her son passing away, she did not feel alive or in her own body anymore. I have been shown that orange is the color to use when someone feels out of their body or has had an experience taking them towards death and somehow leaving the body. I explained this to Dee, and she loved the idea of healing with orange. So we tapped again on the same points, a Setup and Reminder rolled into one, statements like:
“Even though I don't feel I am alive, I allow orange healing”
“Even though I feel out of my body, it's not my time to go, I choose to fully integrate back into my body”
We both kind of went into a trance with this one, with some profound energy shifts. Upon further testing, Dee's arm was strong for “I am alive”.
We also tested:
“It is safe to get over this”
Dee's arm was weak, so we tapped:
“Even if it's not safe to get over this, ...”
Again, I added every now and then:
“Something to do with a white shirt and navy blue skirt”
Again, we had big shifts. Dee could really feel the shifts, she kept saying “sjoe”, South African slang for “phew”, and I followed suit, mostly because I felt it too! After tapping and release, Dee tested strong for “It is safe to get over this”.
We sat down again and tapped one more time for “Today's Meeting”. It went down to a 7. This was a real breakthrough. A further round kept it at a 7, so I suspected reversal again, but by then we were both thoroughly tapped out, so I gave homework and we made another appointment.
In the sixth appointment, we started with the first big meeting in this job. Dee called it “Disastrous Meeting”, and it was now down to a 9 from a previous 10. We used in this session the EFT Shortcut, plus the Top of Head, Under Nipple (because I like it and it helps me to be calmly focused), the Wrists, and the Ankle points plus the points just under the knee. We started tapping something like:
“Even though I have this Disastrous Meeting feeling, ...”
We got “Disastrous Meeting” down to an 8 with relative ease, but then it stayed an 8 with further treatment. I then drew Dee a picture of what I saw in my mind about her. I drew an unhappy face running towards the Finish line in a race. Only the unhappy face is blinded by negative self-thoughts, so much so, it misses the Finish line. It keeps running, exhausted, never getting to the Finish line, because it was way back there, already passed long ago. I drew a happy face at the Finish line, and told her if only the unhappy face realized all it had to do was look back, and it will see that it did indeed achieve what it set out to achieve. With that, we tapped on the Karate Chop something like:
“Even though I keep comparing myself unfavorably to my sister, maybe I am way past the Finish line already but can't see it. I may even be CEO of the company one day, and I still won't feel good enough. I went to University for four years and got my diploma, but someone else must have sat the exams, it couldn't have been me, must've been my sister, after all, I'm stupid, I never got into the top 10 in my class like she did. So I couldn't have sat those exams, someone did it for me. And Einstein wasn't in the top 10 in his class either, and look how well he did. Well, he didn't have my sister, did he? But he was a genius. No, no matter how well I do, I'll never be good enough for me. I accept myself anyway.”
We were in fits of laughter, in-between huge releases from Dee and yawns from me (I yawn when my clients release). Again, we had the audible and visual releases. Dee looked very relaxed, and asked me to make sure I write this down, as it was helpful to her, and she wanted to go over it again afterwards.
We carried on tapping more normally for:
“Even though part of me feels unsafe letting go of this Disastrous Meeting feeling, ...”
I thought we should do a few more rounds before I ask for SUDS again, as we were actually having a whale of a time, laughing, releasing, and yawning. In my experience, part of a fear of presentations or a social anxiety is the fear of letting one's guard down. So I started the Setup as:
“Even though I'm afraid letting my guard down”... Big nods from Dee... “In case I make a fool of myself, so I have to be nervous all the time”... I couldn't even finish. Dee had another huge release. She was completely relaxed and could not tap anymore. When she finally could speak, she said that that was just right for her. At this point, it felt right to have a breather. Then we carried on...
I asked Dee to imagine as if she was in school wearing the white shirt and navy blue skirt, maybe in that long-forgotten incident. If she was in that situation again, how true is the following statement:
“I'm afraid of letting my guard down”
It was a 10. I also added for my clarity:
“In case they see the real me, whom I don't approve of” Dee totally agreed with this. So we tapped the following Setup reframe:
“If I'm not good enough and others think I am, then who am I to disagree? I should let them approve of me, because I'm not good enough to argue with them, I should let them think I'm good enough. But that would mean that I am good enough anyway! I love myself anyway”
We used Reminders like:
“”Afraid of letting my guard down.”
We also used Setups like:
“Maybe the only person that doesn't approve of me is me. I accept myself just as I am, even when I don't.”
“I wanted to be in the top 10. Einstein wasn't in the top 10. But he was a genius!”
The 10 became a 9. We then did some inner child work, sending love whilst tapping to the youngster Dee in the white shirt and navy blue skirt. This brought it down to an 8. We then did a Setup like:
“Even though I got a University diploma and I still think I'm stupid, ...”
At this point, a familiar pattern occurred. We went back to the physical pain manifestation. The left breast hurt, with worries about the heart. I took a chance on this and tapped the following Setup:
“Even though part of me would rather worry about my heart than let my guard down, in case I got up to speak and everybody found out how stupid I was, I deeply love, accept and forgive myself.”
The Reminder was something like:
“Afraid to let my guard down.”
This brought it down to 7.5.
We continued in the same way, with a slightly different Setup:
“Maybe I got humiliated at school when I stood up to speak. So it is easier to worry about being nervous than dare to let my guard down”
SUDS now reduced to 7.
Now that we were slowing down, it was time for the muscle-testing part of the session. As before, Dee lay down, and I did the tapping on the Top of Head, the Ankle points, and just below the knees. I also did the Setup on the Karate Chop, with some tapping on the EB, SE, UE, and Gamut points. I like to tap on clients where I can easily reach and where I feel I am not intruding. We started the muscle testing and calibration.
I tested that the muscle was working OK, and that it went weak when I turned it off. All was OK.
I started calibrating by testing with Dee's name. The muscle went weak with Dee's name, “My name is Dee” and strong with “My name is Mickey Mouse”. I carried on calibrating, testing for a “Yes”, upon which the muscle was strong, and “No”, upon which the muscle went weak. So, thinking I must have made a mistake, I went back to “My name is Dee” and “My name is Mickey Mouse”. And we got the same result. I did all the corrections and repeated. Same result. Dee did not want to be Dee!
I think that was another aspect that came up because we had started loosening up the “I'm afraid of letting my guard down... In case they see the real me, whom I don't approve of”. Both Dee and I were fascinated. I tapped on her:
“Even though I'd rather be Mickey Mouse than be Dee, ...”
Dee released a huge amount again. So after a few rounds, I tested again. This time “My name is Dee” was a bit weak, but not as weak as before. In contrast, “My name is Mickey Mouse” was now totally weak. So we were going in the right direction. We tapped again the following Setup and Reminder rolled into one:
“I don't want to be Dee, I want to be [my sister]”... Huge releases from Dee... “When I wore that white shirt and navy blue skirt, I didn't want to be Dee, I wanted to be [my sister]. I deeply love myself anyway”... More huge releases from Dee, in terms of great relaxation, sighs, etc. I had tio stop to write it up in order to give her time to recover.
We then tested again, and this time “My name is Dee” came up strong and “My name is Mickey Mouse” came up weak. All good and well. Or so I thought. Next came yet another layer of reversal. On calibrating again for “Yes” and “No”, Dee reversed again. She tested weak for “Yes” and strong for “No”. Again, I did all the checks and corrections, and the answer was correct. So I took a guess and tapped on her:
“Even though No, no, no, I don't really want to be Dee, ...”
“Even though Yes, yes, yes, I want to be [my sister], ...”
Finally, Dee tested strong on “Yes” and weak on “No”. She was still strong on “My name is Dee”.
We had a rest, then sat down together again to continue the tapping. “Afraid of letting my guard down” was still a 7. So we tapped things like:
“Even though I'm afraid of letting my guard down, ...”
This went down to a 6, followed by 5, followed by a complete confusion, and what I call the “EFT grin”. Dee could not get a number for it. I suspected some was remaining but we were both totally tapped out.
Dee was so spaced out, I advised her to stomp her feet, a technique I use with Reiki for quick grounding, so that she felt grounded before she left to drive. It worked, I gave homework, and she left with a huge smile on her face.
At the workshop, Dee got an 8 out of 10 for introducing herself to the others at the workshop, and said that if I had said “presentation” or meeting”, it would have been higher. So we all tapped together with Dee in a general way, and when she calmed down a little, we started to analyze the situation.
Somebody said that if she could feel love for the people in the meeting, then it would be easier for her to give the presentation. Now, I had recently made tremendous progress with other very reversed clients by tapping on sending love. So I thought this was a great idea. I started by explaining how I send love with Reiki, allowing it to go through me all the way to my feet, and then out through my heart or middle, to the person I am sending love to. I asked her to close her eyes, and as I touch her crown, to allow this to happen, channeling love through her crown, in to her body, and out to the others. She said that it could not enter. So we tapped for something like:
“Even though I can't let this love in, ...”
Dee started releasing, with huge visible and audible relaxation. I often had to tap on her in the workshop as she was releasing so much.
Then we tried the sending love to the attendees again, and she said that the love was able to enter through her crown this time, but no further than her head. Since there was previously a huge energy block in her throat, we tapped something like:
“Even though I have this block to love in my throat, ...”
After this, Dee was able to let the love into her body, all the way to her feet. And she was able to send it to one person in front of her but not the other. So we tapped something like:
“Even though I can send it to [one person] but not to [the other], ...”
And then, she was able to do it! And she looked very relaxed.
I asked her at some point what number she had for giving the others a presentation, and she said “You sound like my primary school teacher now”. This to me signified the start of remembering more root causes. So we tapped:
“Even though Suzanne reminds me of my primary school teacher, ...”
At that point, someone suggested that Dee wants to rebel against the primary school teacher, especially as she said something like “You're not going to make me do it now, are you?” Dee said that although she did not remember her primary school teacher or even his or her gender, she resonated with the rebellion. I tapped on her something like the following Setup and Reminder.
“Even though No No NO, I don't want to do what the primary school teacher makes me do, ...”
Then on EB, SE, UE, UN, Ch, CB, UA, and the finger points in turn, I said different Reminders at each point like:
“Primary school teacher”
“I won't do what my primary school teacher wants me to do”
“Everyone will laugh at me”
“It's not safe”
“Maybe this reminds me of being humiliated in front of the class”
“I can't speak”
“I won't speak”
“Everyone will know how stupid I really am”
This really resonated with Dee. And although we still did not have those root causes early memories, she did remember her primary school uniform. I explained that this means that her mind is more ready to deal with the root causes, and in the meantime, we can work on the present aspects. Of course, we had also tapped on “Even though I can't remember this”, “Even though it's unsafe to remember” and so on, pretty much to no avail.
Another thing resonated with Dee. We used the 9-Gamut a lot with this workshop, as I was teaching the full Basic Recipe. And every time we did, Dee found a great release when we did the eye rolls, so I advised her to use this whenever she tapped on her own too.
After all this, the 8 for giving the presentation became a 6. “But”, Dee said, “If it was about 900 people, I'd still totally freak out”. So we tried the sending love again, only this time I asked her to multiply the two people in front of her (it was a small workshop) by about 450. She quickly retorted “I can't, I was always terrible at maths”. OK, another aspect, another tapping, such as:
“Even though I was terrible at maths, ...”
“Even though I feel stupid, ...”
“Even though everyone will laugh at me if I ask a question in class, ...”
Then I had Dee do inner child work. I explained that we can heal the past energy, which can help us in our present life. I had her imagine the child Dee in primary school. So that we can send her love. At first, she could not imagine the child, then with more tapping, she could. Next, she could send the child Dee love but the child was not taking it. More aspects again, so we tapped things like:
“Even though the child Dee doesn't feel worthy of love, ...”
The next time we sent the child Dee love, Dee said that the child Dee was taking some of the love and was curious, she was saying “Is this for me?”, so we tapped things like
“Even though I can't believe this is for me, ...”
“Even though I'm not used to being worthy of this love, ...”
Eventually, the child was much more accepting and comfortable with the love. Time dictated that we move on, so we moved back to sending love to all 900 people in an imagined presentation. We carried on until she could send love to all in the presentation. Finally, the fear of giving a presentation to the others at the workshop was down to a 2.
As an interesting aside, Dee had attempted similar inner child work before she had come to see me, using hypnotherapy. And it did not work at all. I truly believe the tapping was what made the difference.
Anyway, with the fear down to a 2, we were running out of time, so I tapped on Dee as she gave the presentation. At some point, it went up to 3 then finally went down to 2 again. This is the lowest that we have managed to get it so far. The 2 was manageable.
Dee went home feeling a lot better than we started. She now has many ways to tap for herself to release the remaining fear. Ultimately, she may also one day remember whatever happened in childhood and then she will have the tool to release the childhood issues completely. I must say that working with people like Dee is a great pleasure. It is wonderful when someone is truly ready to grow and develop with EFT. Every step along the way is one of empowerment, and in all my career as a complementary practitioner, I have not encountered this level of empowerment with any other method.
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© Suzanne Zacharia 2010. My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the more and better options one has, the more choice there is.
A virus caught along with 5 other students at university at the end of 1986, plus medical negligence, meant that I got smokers lung at a relatively young age. In desperation for help with my symptoms and quality of life, I turned to complementary therapy, and I have outlived one doctor's prognosis by many years now.
I am now a complementary therapist, author and trainer specializing in energy healing. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE EFT book "EFT How-To For You" at http://www.EFT-Scripts.com
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